sues story

ok me its sues story.after all that happen both in my childhood and in my adulthood.
thru all the traumas and endless events that happened in my life from job losses,lost of friend ,suicdes,parents death, hurricanes,son dx with a mental illness.me in the hospital twice for depression...thru allthis I HAVE SURVIVED.
THAT IS SOMETHING i THOUGHT I WOULD AEVER SAY.but,thru the grace of GOD,thru the help of racheland dr glade and meds and friends family and the belief in the secret
I am healing.I try to live for the day and not for the future. And no.I still have many bad days,depressed days ,days when i dont get out of bed,or nites when the nite terrors are horrble,or flashbacks or numbing or dissociation. YES,but the
difference is ,I understand what is going on,I breathe,I go outside ,i listen to music.coping techniques. thats what is important,I still have trust issues,I stillhave guilt about hating my dad and as i say "ratting "him out.And its hard to dealwith the emotions.its hard to trust,its a hard road to recovery .to healing,but I know now that it will be better,and i know i can handle it one day at a time one hr a time
But the darkness is gone and the light is shining bright,I am not in a fog.
and I know there is much work to accomplish,but I AM WAY BETTER THAN 3 yrs ago.
i am trying to get rid of my guilt of hating my dad and telling my story of abuse at the hands of both my dad and mom. All of that crap my dads crap is allabout my dad
it is his problem he made it.I broke the chain of abuse,and so could have my dad and mom.I realize that many of my problems are from my past but that is the past.
and now i cant use that as an excuse .now i can change things