dad

OK here it goes ,something I should have said a long time ago .however,I dont think I
could have gotten up enough courage,enough strength ,to write this to you.For so many
intolerable childhood years,you,you did so many unforgivible,uncomprensible,horrific
acts that no child or adult should ever experience.And,even today ,I cant explain.
how I managed to somehow,come out of such vile situations as I did . I am ,by no means a religious fanatic,but.I do know there is some higher being that exists
in everyones life,that ,are there to protact and guide you ,and it is ultimately,you
who decides your destination,your life.
I can remember so many times,how could your parents,the people responsible for
your
life ,treat their own flesh and blood with so much abuse?Why? Why the beatings?
why the drinking?Why the nights in my bed?why the insults ?why all the humilluation?
Why allthe put downs?I lived in my own world,trying to goaway ,far away in this makebeieve world.Where I was loved and cared for and held and I was daddys little girl.Thats allI wanted ,thats allI yearned for,allmy childhood.was that somuch to ask for?The names you called me .cut right thru the core of my very being.
FAT,STUPID,LAZYetc etc.OH ,but the really kicker was you wished I wasnt ever born.
wow,DAD ,you made that point very clear every day of my miserable sad childhood.
I always wondered why i felt absolutely no love for you and I despised looking at you.Wow,yeah,what hateful cruelwords said about your dad.And I would agree if you were a carind ,loving dad,but ,you were far from being that dad,And ,I GET IT
there is no one in the world that is perfect.NO ONE,but ,fuck,you were this monster.ademon in my young eys.
And,all my ,life ,I kept our dark seret ,hidden deep in the back of my mind,
and I know that ,supreesed those memories.emotions ,the fear,the anger,the pain
the sadness the DISGUST.But,if I didnt do it,I suppose ,I wouldnt be here writing this now , And ,I realise ,daad you had a hard life,I understand,but that is not an excuse .DAD you FUCKING slept in my bed.And thank God there are memories I can recall.I guess that is my way of coping with allthat vile garbage you did.
fuck dad you got slobbering drunk,stench,walking aroung with your boxer shorts
and your DICK hanging out, How vile and disgusting id that?
You took away my childhood,You took away all the fairy tales i wanted .You know the one where your dad says ,I love you,and reads stories and hugs you and tucks ME
into the bed , Daughters are suppose to be special,I felt like YESTERDAYS TRASh
Oh,thats right,you loveningly called me trash Yes ,I was that hippie,I was as you said so elequently.a NIGGER lover.what what an ass. Did you not realise the damage you did too me?Its sad ,its sad ,that a child,a daughter,doesnt feel anything ,anything at all for their dad.
hONESTLY,you dont deserve to be called dad ,because you did nothing to gain that title. Did you know how many times I cried ,how many cries,because of you,because,I wanted a dad who loved me uncoditionally.YOU DIDNT. Wow,you would slap me so hard I had huge welts in my legs and armd.AND i Had to go to school like that.Did you not care? Did you not care when I had to go to schoolwith tape duct shoes and schoolbags?
did you not care when the kids teased me allthe time?did you care when you went to
the school fairs drunk>did you not care about anything? to be continued