dear God,
its been such a long time since I wrote to you.I know,that after the katrina I cursed you ,and could not believe all the destruction you caused,Why? why?
it ,it angered me,so much.I guess it just reminded me of all those memories and thoughts practically drilled into my head how God is a good ,loving,nurturing God.
Ok....so why katrina? there was just so many emotions swirling around my mind.
hate,fear,guilt,shame .How,can ,the God i was taught to honor and love ,,,cause so much..destruction? And ,why,why,me ,why was I one of the chosen people left behing during katrina ,survive? Why,did so many innocnt patients at the hospital,have to die
alone? And,why,me ,the person,chosen tostay behind at the hospital,turnedmy back on them,why,couldnt i gather up enough strength ,to help these people?
Well.it was so hard ,after,it was over,and i realized I had survived ..i was like numb...at first....i just was numb...what had happened,..how many lives were lost and how many homes destroyed.It was just so so so hard to comprehand.The patients
were very much frighhtened and crying and ...there i wa ,thinking ofme.
WAs ,i just as bad as God?
aFTER,THE HURRICANE ,THEN CAME THE water,it was so so unbelievable to watch...it was a wall of waterjust flooding the streets,OMG ...now we are going to die we are going to drown..I can remember.we had pulled allpatients bed around the nurses station,like aposse .like mash unit,,,and everyone watched and listened and prayed
..and carefully listened to a radio broadcasting the weather and news,,,
WOW,unbelievable,and all so unreal,our city ,our homes our communities
were under siege to the enemy katrina and allof us were unable to stop it,
there were accounts of water as high as roof tops .windows breaking at dowtown hospitals and water rushing in.I know at one point ,i went in aq corner stairwell
and just rocked and cried and thought dear God,i may never leave this building alive and i may never be found....
ok enough for now