long time i have written here,I an so fricken upset,Ryan hill aka guidewire has finally gone, he admited he hates me and that hurt,really hurt.why must I be so sad about loosing him? eay I loved him. How it happened,I Ddont know.but i do ,i honestly love him. and it hurts .but he never supported me at all. never said hey your pics are good , never answered my emails. always chhosing what to answer and what to ignore,he was aragant and cocky and yet ,i kept on believing he still cares.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmlCbDD7de8

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http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Behind-the-Scenes-of-Drew-Brees-Commercial-Video

WOW HAVENT WRITTEN IN AWILE AND SO SOSOMUCH HAS HAPENED GOOD BAD AND INDIFFERENT.I
FIRED MY SOCIAL WORKER,YES ,THAT SOUNDS KINDA WEIRD,BUT ITS TRUE AND I AM NOW IN PEACE WITH THE DECISION.what the hell happened,trully i dont know.I went to a support group and she just came out of the blue abot how I amnot talking,that I stopped trying tohealmyself.Allthis didnt make sense to me,it made me so damn sad.
what was she doing? was she living her flashbacks thru me>? all Iknow is I hurt so
fucking bad.and so I went to a session,crying ,sobbing uncontrollably,and rachel
telling me tostopcrying,saying I cried enough,askingwhy was i crying?Telling me to stop,telling me what was my reason.telling me I was sabatogging my treatment.
that i was refusing to do my homework,on and on. and yelling at me ,to look at her not the ceiling that she was the adult

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http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid46074187001?bclid=18434797001&bctid=65081308001

The Buddy D Parade