Wow its been almost a month since the ryan episode.So many questios ,thoughts,
as to what went wrong .I miss ryan terriblky ,although ,i dont cry as much,there is still an empty hole in my heart for him,so ,many things ryan said to me,so many hurtful things ,and yet mi allowed him to say it .WHy?
I was so afriad he would stop writing to me .I mean he said many hurtful things and the friendship was one sided but....i accepted ,it was better than nothing.
i hurt i hurt now,,i miss him so very much.yet ,he didnt care about my welfare\
.....he didnt care,...omg i must stop now the pain is flooding back to me


nawl